The triangle is the basic unit (building block) of existence. Triangles are not static structures. The entities that are the endpoints of triangles are always moving and changing and the relationships between the entities are also ever-evolving. Triangles are just a simple way to break down and think about the nature of reality, which is infinitely complex. Once you understand how triangles work and how to spot them, you will see them everywhere. You will also be more in tune with the dynamic nature of life and growth.

In reality, there is no such thing as a dyadic system (a relationship between just two entities). Think about it: a relationship between two people includes where the two people came from (their backgrounds), the context surrounding them (their culture and community) and their goals (where they would like to go and what they would like to do). Sometimes these “outside” entities push or pull on the system and create conflict. Other times, they are the only thing stabilizing the dyadic relationship: if you remove one of them, the system becomes unstable. In relationships, we can use the triangles all around to stabilize and grow the relationship. (We can also utilize them to harm others and damage relationships.)

A dyadic relationship becomes unstable when it encounters what seems to be an unresolvable conflict. That is the time to reach out for an out-of-the-box solution you may have never thought of on your own and maybe no one has ever thought of before. In this way, the system becomes creative and more complex. Triangling is reaching for something further – something beyond. This sort of growth also involves “pushing against.” We normally think of that as conflict, but it is the thing that inspires the need for creativity, as above. It is necessary for life and growth.

It happens at the cellular level in biology. Cells divide and specialize themselves to do different jobs. Each learns its job because of what is inside itself (DNA), but also because of the information it receives from other cells around it. This process is also called differentiation. Some cells decide they are going to “go rogue” and do something different. It takes connection and communication between cells. That is also how evolution at the species level happens.

We tend to do this poorly in relationships. We refuse to change and grow, or we try to change too much too fast. Too much of either one and the organism will not survive. How the cells relate and communicate determines how the organism does. The conflict is necessary, but the differentiation, specialization and evolution of the organism must be undertaken slowly and carefully, with exacting precision. We must continue reaching out beyond ourselves without losing sight of what we are. We also must learn to evolve without destroying each other and, in the process, ourselves.

Photo by Vivaan Trivedii on Unsplash