Another foundational spiritual practice is presence. Presence is the practice of being here now. This practice is key to the spiritual life and to relationships in general.  When we are present, connection happens.  It’s very difficult to connect with someone if you are not present in the moment with them – if you are “somewhere else.” Our anxiety wants us to do anything but be in the moment. It wants to take us out of the moment: “What needs to be done?” “What do we need to worry about?” “What’s going to happen next?” We are always on our way somewhere – to something bigger and better, to the next big thing – rather than just being here in this moment.

Think of those times when you have been with your closest friend, your lover or your family and there is nothing that needs to be said or done. It is enough just to be in their presence. In fact, saying or doing something may spoil the moment. I spend most days around people who have experienced significant loss and hardship. Many times, there is nothing to say or do. It is enough just to practice presence – being there with them in their pain. Your presence changes things even without you saying or doing a thing. You and they are no longer alone.

I have been around a lot of loss in the last couple years, and have experienced loss myself. It has become very real to me that when our loved ones are no longer with us in physical form, they are still present with us “in spirit.” This is something we can practice. If I asked you to conjure up an image of your mother or some other person who is important to you, would you be able to do it? You could probably see their face and remember their laugh. You might even be able to smell their smell or hear their voice. This is because you know them. You carry them around with all their ways of being and who they are – their essence – inside you. This is the power of our connections. When we leave someone or they leave us, they are not gone. They are inside us.

Many of us grieve the fact that God is not with us in tangible form, but he is inside us by his Spirit. This means we can also practice his presence. This practice of presence is prayer. We tend to think of prayer as words, but language is a small part of the communication in any relationship. The majority of what is transmitted in our relationships is non-verbal. In fact, words often get in the way. Many will think this insubstantial, but practicing presence is more like practicing a feeling than anything else. Our communication with God is not physical or language-based. It is spiritual – closer to the level of feeling than thought or even perception.

It is this practicing of presence that moves us from knowing something “in our heads” to experiencing it “in our hearts.” We do not feel God because our prayer has not yet become experiential. Practicing presence is a way to get there. It is this practice we can use to know who we are, calm our fears when we are fearful and organize ourselves when we feel adrift.