It is actually quite a difficult thing to be kind. If you are going to be truly kind, you have to be very present in the moment and work to put yourself into the world of those around you, understanding them in order to avoid judgment. If you don’t pay attention, your default will be to act and react based on the prototype or standard to which you hold yourself and everyone else and you can easily become a tyrant. Our demands for perfection create ...
As relational beings, we are in relationship to everyone and everything around us. That means we get “organized” in a certain way – in our culture, in our family (of course), in our beliefs and in the roles we play with those around us. We don’t even notice how we are organized really until something changes or is taken away. When the thing that organized you is taken out from under you, you may have a feeling of disorientation or even grief. You will soon reorganize yourself, ...
At each moment, we are making a decision to either be in relationship or not. This could be called “turning toward” or “turning away”. Even if we make a decision to be in solitude, we can do so with deeper connection in mind, or to avoid connection and truly be alone. Furthermore, even if we choose to be near others, this does not necessarily mean we do so with deeper connection in mind. Sometimes, we choose to be with others in a way that breeds loneliness. In that case, ...
How profound the thought that God, within himself, is relationship. He is greater than the sum of his parts. He is not Father, Son, or Holy Spirit. He is all and the interactions which occur between. He is always moving and his character is tied up in the ongoing dance. As well, we ourselves can never cease being in relationship. Just try to live apart from others. Even saying you are going to become “independent” is a relational position.
Remember, too, that what you see before you ...
You will be able to forgive others as soon as you are ready to accept forgiveness for yourself. The things we do not forgive in others are the same things we refuse to forgive in ourselves. Alternatively, as soon as you are ready to receive grace into your greatest shame, you will be able to offer the same to another. If you can be forgiven then so can I, and vice versa. Grace reaches both of us at the same time; it is the great equalizer.
When you learn to trust, I believe you will begin to trust EVERYONE. Now most of us choose who we trust, which is wise in a way, especially when you are talking about actually entrusting yourself to people. But I believe you can also learn to trust the people who have hurt you continually and will continue to do so. Trusting those who have hurt you looks like this: forgiving them and giving them over to their own devices.
When you learn to trust, it means you realize those people who have hurt ...
To be human is to be broken and wanting. This keeps us in a perpetual state of needing and seeking. We get hungry, we seek food. We get lonely, we seek connection. We feel empty, we seek fulfillment. We are all addicted to something, and the deficits we experience daily cause us to be seeking our drug: attention, esteem, comfort.
This move from need to fulfillment is what defines us and how it happens is very important. Most of the time, it happens quite compulsively since we seek without knowing ...
Some anxiety is natural in this realm. When we are away from the One who sustains us, of course there is going to be some anxiety. And when we feel anxious, we immediately begin to seek security in various ways. We seek to have enough money, be esteemed by others, have all of our tasks completed, make sure our loved ones are healthy and safe.
Think about what you are actually afraid of. Ultimately, you are probably afraid of being destroyed or being condemned. I know that sounds drastic, but at ...