Tag: relationships

  I think the truth is something that is more uncovered than “known,” and something that morphs and is constructed, rather than being a static thing.  When I talk to people, I am always looking to discern and express what will meet and resonate with their experience the most. What they and I collaborate to articulate comes from how our experiences intersect and blend together. What is constructed with one person is different than what is constructed with the next. The truth is what feels most true to us at that particular time. It could be abandoned for another superseding truth at a later date, but for that moment, we feel like we have really discovered something! Sometimes, it is like pushing out another corner of the universe to include what we have created together. If I say the same things to everyone in the same way without crafting a new dialogue to fit our experiences, it will not resonate in the same way. The truth must be expressed in different ways to different people. I and they will be in different places on different days depending on our life experiences. Something that “felt true” on one day may not resonate or even seem true on a different day. It is not that the truth is based on how we feel, but we have noses and minds for searching out the real reality and it is being created all the time. We are made to be discerners and discoverers of truth.

It is actually quite a difficult thing to be kind. If you are going to be truly kind, you have to be very present in the moment and work to put yourself into the world of those around you, understanding them in order to avoid judgment. If you don’t pay attention, your default will be to act and react based on the prototype or standard to which you hold yourself and everyone else and you can easily become a tyrant. Our demands for perfection create anger which then spills out onto others when we are not paying attention to how we treat them. That’s why it’s easiest to be unkind to ourselves and those closest to us: our families or those with whom we spend the most time.

Being kind to others springs from putting effort into receiving gentle kindness for your self at the deepest level – at that place where you believe yourself most unlovable. If you are able to do that for yourself, you can know the deepest parts of ANYONE else and be understanding, empathetic and kind to them, too. We don’t love others because we don’t love ourselves.

How profound the thought that God, within himself, is relationship. He is greater than the sum of his parts. He is not Father, Son, or Holy Spirit. He is all and the interactions which occur between. He is always moving and his character is tied up in the ongoing dance. As well, we ourselves can never cease being in relationship. Just try to live apart from others. Even saying you are going to become “independent” is a relational position.

Remember, too, that what you see before you is all system. Even what appear to be objects at rest are formed by atoms and molecules spinning within themselves and forever colliding with one another. Nothing is static. Everything is involved in the dance. Those who appear different than you are there to offer you a chance for balance and growth. Being self-contained and self-sufficient is overrated (let alone impossible). What you perceive as your “self” is not real apart from the relationships which have formed you. Your “ideas” are formed from ideas which have been shared with you before. Your beliefs, values and emotions are all formed in relationship, too. Once you have accepted this, you will start to see the real reality and you will start to see yourself as you are: a system intermingled with others, never static, always moving. It is amazing.