relationships Archives

Slowing Down Becomes Non-Violence

February 1, 2026

Given a long enough timeline, you can do anything. The work must happen on the inside, which means you must slow down. That is what all this inner work is aimed at doing: giving you control over your internal experience. Meditation, then, is not just an end in itself (trying to rid yourself of thoughts). It is a practice that is fundamental to redeeming everything that has come from outside you and has become your inner experience. Once you ... Keep reading

Reaching Out

November 22, 2025

Anytime you reach a paradox, or what appears to be a dead end or an impasse, it is time to reach out for something new. This is a creative process because what you are reaching out for has not been revealed or discovered yet. It is reaching into new space and adding complexity, like cell mitosis. Complexity is what will help us now. There is too much “it has to be this way or that way,” in our discourse, too much blunt application of principles.

If you are going to build something beautiful, ... Keep reading

Deconstructing Is Bursting Your Own Bubble

March 19, 2025

Everyone begins their life inside some context. Inside that context, things make sense to you. People who were also born into the same circumstances live there, speak your language and have similar ways of thinking. There is nothing wrong with the place you come from. It is home. You might always feel most comfortable with people who have a similar background and come from the same place you do. The problem is when you think the way you are is the best or only way to be and you devalue others, ... Keep reading

Ineffable You

February 22, 2025

There is something inside you so beautiful and ferocious it cannot be fully known or expressed in words. It is your job to protect and preserve it, and to let it loose on the world when the time is right. Not everyone will honor it the way you want them to, but even if they don’t, it doesn’t lose any of its power or vitality. You will always be able to locate it and get back in touch with it in its primordial state.

The ineffable you is eternal. Not everyone remembers that all the time. (They ... Keep reading

Breathing/Oscillating

January 11, 2025

All of life is a steady, rhythmed breathing in and out. That process occurs without any thought or intent on your part, and yet, it is the thing that keeps you alive. Your whole life, you oscillate between utter breathlessness and lungs full of air, aching to be pushed out. Life happens because of the movement from one to the other and back.

Our lives are made up of the coming and going between two poles on many dimensions. Everyday, you wake up and move forward with the day’s activities. Then ... Keep reading

The Light Is Diffuse

August 11, 2024

It’s good if you can find one good person you can trust. That is how you build a secure attachment, and it is how you become aware there is good in the world. But I have also been around a lot of people who have not had good attachments – people who have experienced mostly pain in their caregiver relationships, but are able to reach deep down inside themselves and find love and care for themselves and others despite. It is amazing. The world will try to diminish and extinguish the fire ... Keep reading

Finding Real Intimacy

March 26, 2024

If you are not truly listening to another and tuning into the reality and depth of their inner experience, you will become abusive. Then the other person is merely an object to you, simply there to meet whatever you express as your needs. They are no longer human – someone you can be discovering and learning to love. That is why knowing self – discovering the universe inside yourself – is so important. Carefully examining your own interiority with grace, you will undoubtedly find things ... Keep reading

Practicing Presence: Internal Models

January 18, 2023

Meditation helps us access and internalize the good in the universe, letting it expand within us and become a resource we carry around all the time. The way we first learn to do this internalizing of any kind of presence is through our relationships with others. The people around us when we are growing up help us form some initial internal framework of what people and reality are like. We learn others are harsh and scary or that there is great good in the world – maybe both. We then carry around ... Keep reading