compulsions

Meditation – A State of Resonance

November 21, 2022

We spend our lives trying to get into a state of resonance. You might say that everything we do is aimed at getting ourselves into rhythm with the universe. We eat and drink and sleep and do drugs to feel right. We endeavor to control our environment, establish routines, indulge our habits, seek stimulation and connection. That is all meant to regulate and feel in step with existence itself.

There are plenty of things that make us feel out of step – physical pain, broken relationships, interruptions ... Keep reading

The Decentralization of Everything

April 12, 2020

One more thing this pandemic and the resultant changes in our lives have achieved is to help us loosen our grip on many things we have held tightly. Many are shaken at the fragility of our existence and how quickly our lives can change. Many of our modern conveniences have been taken from us or have been significantly restricted. We cannot gather together or freely walk into a store. We are being forced to practice surrender in that we cannot just compulsively attain comfort and convenience – ... Keep reading

Why We Self-Sabotage: Entertaining Our Dark Sides

March 3, 2019

Ever wonder why we self-sabotage – why we continually return to our bad behavior or have so much trouble doing what we know is right? On the surface, it seems like there is no reason to purposefully do wrong when we know what is right, yet we continue in our self-destruction. This is apparent in our addictions: we are continually drawn to our “vices” which appear to have little redeeming value and obvious negative consequences: smoking, drinking, overeating, drugs, sexual deviance. Sure, ... Keep reading

The Balance Between Action And Contemplation

September 18, 2018

Note: Richard Rohr has written much about the balance between action and contemplation, a common spiritual duality we all navigate. In fact, he is the founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Many of these ideas are informed by his writing.

I have been thinking a lot about the balance between action and contemplation. I first learned of this precarious duality when I was in college (around 18 years ago) and it continues to be a dynamic push and pull in my ... Keep reading

From Compulsion To Choice

August 29, 2018

There are many things that compel us. I would say we are driven from within by our unconscious fears, desires and needs more often than we actually make conscious choices. That is a scary thought – it means we are not actually choosing from our deep and thoughtful selves. We are just slaves to the forces ping-ponging around within us which are trying to ensure our safety, comfort and self-preservation. You are driven to work and do because you want to make sure you earn rank, esteem and ... Keep reading

Transformation through Self-Denial (Avoiding Compulsions)

February 20, 2018

There is this space where you can hold yourself and experience transformation. You and everyone else have anxieties which drive your behavior, especially compulsive behavior. Your compulsive working, eating, talking and fidgeting are all moves to stop the feeling of anxiety or neutralize it. We believe that feeling anxiety is “bad.” If you feel any anxiety at all, it should be comforted or go away. What if you tried to avoid doing any compulsive behavior at all? Don’t look at your phone, ... Keep reading

Compulsions

February 22, 2014

So much of our depression and anxiety occurs because of our constant compulsive behavior. We feel badly and our compulsions crop up to try to help neutralize our pain and help us feel better. It is like our bodies and brains instantly want to heal us, but since these compulsive behaviors have their genesis in our brokenness, they do not help. They only serve to produce more of the feelings we sought to neutralize in the first place and more unwanted behavior is produced. Compulsions could be defined as anything that is produced unthinkingly out of our guilt, fear, discomfort or pain. What’s amazing is that you can enact the same behavior and if you do it in thoughtfulness rather than compulsivity, it can be life-giving. The goal of the healing arts is enhancing our thoughtfulness about our pain. The thoughtfulness means we will again become present to the pain, but ignoring pain and relying on our compulsions will not help. The more we can do thoughtfully (and not compulsively), the more we will be able manage anxiety and emotion. The goal is that brokenness will be healed and we will be able to live out of our wholeness.

Acceptance

January 15, 2014

I wonder what the world would be like if we did not work so hard to avoid everything. So much in our lives exists to help deaden our senses: not only drugs and drink, but electronics and countless other diversions. If we really felt everything there is to feel, I wonder if we would fall apart. The world seems like it would drastically change if we just accepted and encountered the pain of our circumstances head on, as it is. But we do not. We anesthetize in order to avoid feeling too much.

If we allowed ourselves to feel the pain in the world, I believe we may move on to better things. We would have to change things. We would not be able to bear things the way they are.