Tag: change

Do Your Inner Work

September 3, 2020

If we are going to be effective in these times of cultural and societal upheaval, we must do our inner work. I am not really interested in hearing what you or I have to say about any issue external to us if we have not done work resolving conflicts within ourselves. And I’m not just talking about being able to hash through an issue logically and decide what you believe about it. I’m talking about being able to hold tension and complexity within yourself and realize you don’t have all the ...  Keep reading

The Decentralization of Everything

April 12, 2020

One more thing this pandemic and the resultant changes in our lives have achieved is to help us loosen our grip on many things we have held tightly. Many are shaken at the fragility of our existence and how quickly our lives can change. Many of our modern conveniences have been taken from us or have been significantly restricted. We cannot gather together or freely walk into a store. We are being forced to practice surrender in that we cannot just compulsively attain comfort and convenience – ...  Keep reading

Living in the Economy of Grace

March 23, 2019

I’m not sure when the phrase “economy of grace” first came into my consciousness[1], but it’s a helpful way of looking at things. The economy of grace is different than the one we are used to – our “economy of merit” – the “reward/punishment, tit-for-tat, pro rata, get what you deserve economy.” Well, actually…you don’t get what you deserve. The ...  Keep reading

Why We Self-Sabotage: Entertaining Our Dark Sides

March 3, 2019

Ever wonder why we self-sabotage – why we continually return to our bad behavior or have so much trouble doing what we know is right? On the surface, it seems like there is no reason to purposefully do wrong when we know what is right, yet we continue in our self-destruction. This is apparent in our addictions: we are continually drawn to our “vices” which appear to have little redeeming value and obvious negative consequences: smoking, drinking, overeating, drugs, sexual deviance. Sure, ...  Keep reading

Why We Can’t Change: Moving From Our Heads To Our Hearts

February 23, 2019

We all know the right answers. The irony is we just can’t make ourselves believe them. We know what we should do. We just can’t make ourselves do it. We know we shouldn’t overeat, yet we do. We know we should exercise, but we don’t. We know we should feel better about ourselves and have more confidence, but we go on in our self-loathing. We know our fears are irrational, yet we go on heeding them. No matter how hard we try, we cannot change ourselves just by “knowing the right answers:” ...  Keep reading

Toward Wholeness, Not Happiness

February 6, 2019

You might have heard: I’ve stopped trying to be happy. Rather than orienting my life toward reaching some island of happiness I’m not sure exists out there, I think I’ll try to foster something different in my life. I think the best word to describe it is wholeness. Happiness for most of us is based on the prospect of having our “ideal life.” It is a place to which we must travel – a place “out there.” Like I said, I’m ...  Keep reading

Peace On Earth

December 20, 2018

. . . As I see it, the human task is threefold. First, the human spirit must connect to the Eternal by turning toward God’s immanence and ineffability with yearning. Second, each person must explore the inner reality of his or her humanity, facing unmet potential and catastrophic failure with unmitigated honesty and grace. Finally, each one of us must face the unlovable neighbor, the enemy outside of our embrace, and the shadow skulking in the recesses of our own hearts. Only then can we declare ...  Keep reading

From Compulsion To Choice

August 29, 2018

There are many things that compel us. I would say we are driven from within by our unconscious fears, desires and needs more often than we actually make conscious choices. That is a scary thought – it means we are not actually choosing from our deep and thoughtful selves. We are just slaves to the forces ping-ponging around within us which are trying to ensure our safety, comfort and self-preservation. You are driven to work and do because you want to make sure you earn rank, esteem and ...  Keep reading