Tag: acceptance

The Contempt In Us

January 31, 2021

Search any human heart and you will find contempt. It comes in many forms and is unfortunately as natural to us as breathing and eating. It organizes us. Somewhere along the way (probably in adolescence), we start identifying everything we hate – everything we think we are not and everything we do not want to be. This is probably a necessary process of forming our identity; the problem is too often we get stuck there and believe that is the only way to “be somebody.” Long into our adulthood, ...  Keep reading

The Allure of Imperfection

April 17, 2020

I have always liked imperfect things. One of the ways my high school art teacher taught us to create abstract art is to draw something you see, and then just take certain elements of the thing and stretch them, elongate them, mess ‘em up somehow in your drawing. It’s deconstruction, which we are having to do in so many ways in our lives all the time. We have to destroy and take apart our lives the way they are to get to the next thing and make a better version of what was. I think this kind ...  Keep reading

Mining Something from These Waiting Periods

April 5, 2020

Waiting periods are uniquely unsettling. It seems the whole world is currently waiting around for things to “go back to normal.” There is only speculation about when this all might end. None of us really knows. For people who value a sense of control, that can be rather unsettling. Maybe this is our new normal. It seems to be, at least for a time. What’s problematic is that we believe we deserve to have ...  Keep reading

An Open Heart: What to Do When Fear Presents Itself

June 23, 2019

The world will try to convince you to close your heart – that you should always protect yourself, and avoid pain and emotion and learning and growing. One of our great duties in this life, then, is to approach it with an open heart. Though we know struggle is coming, we must receive it with open eyes and open hearts, and work toward transcendence.

Living with an open heart is not going forth without fear. Open-hearted living is knowing what to do with fear. Fear, like all ...  Keep reading

Living in the Economy of Grace

March 23, 2019

I’m not sure when the phrase “economy of grace” first came into my consciousness[1], but it’s a helpful way of looking at things. The economy of grace is different than the one we are used to – our “economy of merit” – the “reward/punishment, tit-for-tat, pro rata, get what you deserve economy.” Well, actually…you don’t get what you deserve. The ...  Keep reading

Why We Self-Sabotage: Entertaining Our Dark Sides

March 3, 2019

Ever wonder why we self-sabotage – why we continually return to our bad behavior or have so much trouble doing what we know is right? On the surface, it seems like there is no reason to purposefully do wrong when we know what is right, yet we continue in our self-destruction. This is apparent in our addictions: we are continually drawn to our “vices” which appear to have little redeeming value and obvious negative consequences: smoking, drinking, overeating, drugs, sexual deviance. Sure, ...  Keep reading

I’ve Stopped Trying To Be Happy

January 27, 2019

I have stopped trying to be happy. For a while, I thought it might be possible to be happy, but now I believe something different. There was a point three years ago when my grandmother died and I realized the rest of my life was going to be a series of losses leading up to my own death. Then my family and I lost a few more people before their time and a series of other unfortunate events ensued. It was the most difficult time of my life (still is), but I have also found a lot of meaning in it. ...  Keep reading

The Foundational Spiritual Practice Of Surrender

January 23, 2019

One more spiritual practice with which to reckon is the practice of surrender. This may be the most far-reaching and sophisticated part of the spiritual life. It appears there are a million ways we can practice surrender. We can probably be practicing it at all times in all circumstances. Surrender is allowing ourselves to be subject to and even overwhelmed at times by what is happening to us, without wrestling to assert our will on others and our environment. We may think of surrender as “letting ...  Keep reading