Everyone begins their life inside some context. Inside that context, things make sense to you. People who were also born into the same circumstances live there, speak your language and have similar ways of thinking. There is nothing wrong with the place you come from. It is home. You might always feel most comfortable with people who have a similar background and come from the same place you do. The problem is when you think the way you are is the best or only way to be and you devalue others, where they come from, and you do not practice hospitality. You become a little imperialist, thinking everyone needs to come around to your way of thinking and living because it’s “right.” News flash: it only feels right to you because it’s where you come from and you have not yet gotten outside your bubble.

Invariably, you will encounter people who are different from you. They come from different contexts and have different assumptions about the world. It is tempting to think some of the things they say and do cannot possibly be right because you have never heard or seen those things before or you have always been told they were wrong. It’s an easy mistake to make when you have not gotten to know and accepted life outside your given context.

If you really want to grow up, you have to leave home and you have to learn to listen. That is how you learn to love everything. You will not learn to love if you already know the best and only way of being, doing and believing. If you want to practice bursting your own bubble, try having a conversation with just one person who does not come from the same place you do – someone from a different country, someone who does not look like you, think or believe like you do or, maybe best of all, someone who disgusts you. Pay attention: these people will become your greatest teachers.

Now you have a few choices when you encounter someone who is different from you. You can try to assimilate them to your way of thinking and doing things, you can cast them as an enemy or you can retreat and continue cloistering yourself off with the people who feel most comfortable to you.

Or, you can listen and learn about others, and try to honor that they are all people from their own contexts.

You have no business talking until you have listened to enough other people talk about their experiences and how they see the world. The more you listen, the more you will realize maybe you should not be speaking much at all. You should just be listening and receiving. That is how you learn to love everything.