Category: Blog

Why We Self-Sabotage: Entertaining Our Dark Sides

March 3, 2019

Ever wonder why we self-sabotage – why we continually return to our bad behavior or have so much trouble doing what we know is right? On the surface, it seems like there is no reason to purposefully do wrong when we know what is right, yet we continue in our self-destruction. This is apparent in our addictions: we are continually drawn to our “vices” which appear to have little redeeming value and obvious negative consequences: smoking, drinking, overeating, drugs, sexual deviance. Sure, ...  Keep reading

Why We Can’t Change: Moving From Our Heads To Our Hearts

February 23, 2019

We all know the right answers. The irony is we just can’t make ourselves believe them. We know what we should do. We just can’t make ourselves do it. We know we shouldn’t overeat, yet we do. We know we should exercise, but we don’t. We know we should feel better about ourselves and have more confidence, but we go on in our self-loathing. We know our fears are irrational, yet we go on heeding them. No matter how hard we try, we cannot change ourselves just by “knowing the right answers:” ...  Keep reading

Goodness Vs. God

February 11, 2019

I talk to a lot of people who are kind of turned off from God. I get it – there are about a thousand reasons not to believe in God and/or not to believe he is good. Things like his “followers” are really bad representatives sometimes. Or religion is sort of stuffy and seems like a bunch of life-sucking rules and rituals. Or because bad things happen. Take your pick – the holocaust, losing your spouse or child, or any of the other various atrocities a human soul can suffer. How ...  Keep reading

Toward Wholeness, Not Happiness

February 6, 2019

You might have heard: I’ve stopped trying to be happy. Rather than orienting my life toward reaching some island of happiness I’m not sure exists out there, I think I’ll try to foster something different in my life. I think the best word to describe it is wholeness. Happiness for most of us is based on the prospect of having our “ideal life.” It is a place to which we must travel – a place “out there.” Like I said, I’m ...  Keep reading

I’ve Stopped Trying To Be Happy

January 27, 2019

I have stopped trying to be happy. For a while, I thought it might be possible to be happy, but now I believe something different. There was a point three years ago when my grandmother died and I realized the rest of my life was going to be a series of losses leading up to my own death. Then my family and I lost a few more people before their time and a series of other unfortunate events ensued. It was the most difficult time of my life (still is), but I have also found a lot of meaning in it. ...  Keep reading

The Foundational Spiritual Practice Of Surrender

January 23, 2019

One more spiritual practice with which to reckon is the practice of surrender. This may be the most far-reaching and sophisticated part of the spiritual life. It appears there are a million ways we can practice surrender. We can probably be practicing it at all times in all circumstances. Surrender is allowing ourselves to be subject to and even overwhelmed at times by what is happening to us, without wrestling to assert our will on others and our environment. We may think of surrender as “letting ...  Keep reading

The Foundational Spiritual Practice Of Presence

January 20, 2019

Another foundational spiritual practice is presence. Presence is the practice of being here now. This practice is key to the spiritual life and to relationships in general.  When we are present, connection happens.  It’s very difficult to connect with someone if you are not present in the moment with them – if you are “somewhere else.” Our anxiety wants us to do anything but be in the moment. It wants to take us out of the moment: “What needs to be done?” “What do we need to ...  Keep reading

The Foundational Spiritual Practice Of Receptivity

January 12, 2019

As I outline some foundational spiritual practices, I think it is important to note that I tend to approach the spiritual life from an utilitarian perspective. Rather than attaching myself to specific prescribed rituals from specific traditions, I try to abstract the meaning and essence from some common spiritual practices and reduce them down to their most translatable forms. I believe spiritual practices should be repeatable and customizable to many different lifestyles – not prescribed, ...  Keep reading